I get that feeling. I had as you call it 'functional depression' for years after me and my ex broke up. Went to work every day, still socialised but was just not feeling anything. This went on for far too long but I guess I just accepted it.

Like you, meeting a new guy was the start of getting better. I too gave myself anxiety over my own perceived weaknesses and quirks. I wanted to be better to be a better partner, friend, family member.

So I made myself more emotionally available with friends and family. Whether it be laughing or crying I rebuilt connections with those i trust. And yes I had the occasion cry to myself. But it's important that after crying that you get out, look at the world and realise how amazing it is, the friendships, the beauty of the world. And when you can start exercising again, do it, emotionally and chemically it will elevate you.

Without even focusing on my new guy, I had released so much pent up anxiety, pain and felt light again. That allowed me to relax with my new partner and be a better person without bringing past pain or anxiety to the fold.

I wish you the best for the future. Take a little bit of advice from all those that offer, but make sure that you follow your own path, and I'm sure you are gonna be happy x