Honestly man? This question gets asked here like once a week and I'm getting really tired of answering it, so this is going to come off as harsh:
Want to be happy? then get the fuck over yourself.
I am literally everything you described in your opening paragraph; shy, shitty job, insecure, unattractive, nerdy, and bizarre. Lets add "mentally ill", "alcoholic", "smoker" and "broke as fuck/buried in debt" to that list while we're having fun. And guess what? At the end of the day, through all the bullshit, I still am pretty content with myself, whether I'm getting laid or not.
Hell, I even was the male you're describing in your post; I spent years chasing that girl who would love me just for me and being emo about it and writing bad poetry and spending hours bitching about it online. I even did the whole "change for the partner" thing and it landed me right here:
So these guys are faced with two options. Either stay celibate and die alone if they can endure it, and perhaps become bitter about the whole ordeal, or if they still want to feel some intimacy or affection for even a single time in their miserable lives, then subscribe to RP philosophy and start making themselves more "alpha" just to fuck women or have relationships with someone they don't really love for a delusion of intimacy, all the while keeping in the back of the minds the fact they'll get ditched if they started behaving normally.
That was me for the longest time. Know what I did? I didn't become PuA. I didn't MGTOW. I took the third route:
I said fuck it all and decided just to stop trying to control everything. Friends I didn't like? Fuckem. Girls not interested in me? Fuckem. I want to eat lasagna and chips for breakfast? Fuckit.
The male described has an idea of what his life should be like (the perfect girlfriend who loves him just as he is and never makes him get a job or pick up his shit and always blows him) and he also has an idea of what his life could be like (lifting everyday, eating nothing but tofu and brocolli, working 23/6 so that on the 1/7 some hot girl might suck your dick) but in either description he has no idea of what his life actually is.
Stop trying to be somebody you aren't. If that makes you celibate forever, than fucking embrace that. You're never going to be happy pretending to be somebody your aren't. No amount of muscle can help you lift that millstone.
Get the fuck over yourself. Stop believing that your life needs to be a certain way and that the world is doing you a huge injustice by not bending to your cute little image of what you think you're owed. It's the epitome of narcissism and it's fucking pathetic.
Like I figured this shit out in highschool, sometime between my balls dropping and my first nut. I got over the pua/mgtow 'dichotomy' sometime after. And honestly, despite all the shit, I still walked away a feminist, still walked away believing women are equal to men, and still walked away believing that TRP is fucking crazy. These problems your upset about? They happen to literally 99% of men, and yet less that 1% of men see TRP as the only way. Get over yourself