3. There's nothing left for me here. I'm going to end it but in a way I've always w...

There's nothing left for me here. I'm going to end it but in a way I've always wanted.

Listen, I'm fifteen and I don't know shit about love or lose or anything really but when I was 11 I had a suicide attempt (I know, what could an 11 year old be so down about? a lot honestly) I sat in one of those uncomfortable hospital bed. I waited for my mom to stop crying so she could yell at me and say how it was all my fault and I tried making her look bad ( she's that kind of mom) well I received a call from my dad.... I heard him cry for the first time. I went away to a hospital, got help a got a little better. Well today I'm fifteen and I'm about three months clean from cutting (which is big for me). I'm with someone who makes me really happy and I got to meet my little sisters and brother and play dress up with them and eat breakfast with them. I get to see my dad still (he's really sick and he's gonna die soon) who became my best friend. I get to finish highschool and meet new people. I get to dream new dreams every night and I get to sometimes forget how lucky I am to be alive because I could have died all those years ago. I get to go on long drives with my mom and I get to laugh at the dumb things gs about life. You're gonna regret it, I promise. Please see someone. You're important. From this day forward, you're important to me. I don't know you and may never know you but you're important to me now. Please don't ever think of yourself as less than important. I still have my days were i get depressed and I think about cutting again but I think about that time of my life when I spent two months in a hospital trying to help myself. Get help please. I mean I don't know how this site works really (actually made an account to post this) but we can talk whenever. I promise you're worth so much.

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I draw with my blood in my diary and i lick it of my fingers when im done. When I was younger I snooped through my sisters phone I asked my step dad to stop drinking and he called me an assh*le I lied to my parents about my grades and I might face serious repercussions I stole alcohol from the same store every other day for two years without getting caught I did something pretty perverse and I very much regret it Electronic’s company keeps refunding me for a tv I bought. I get a refund of just over $1000 every month. When I was a kid I kept the church offering money ... [deleted by user] Some of the most insufferable people are the ones who refuse to grow up My entire life is based and surrounded by lies I’ve told people I drank some rum and cola after a party my dad had. im a horrible person. I've done so many bad things. I wanna change I was a leftist for about 5+ years. Identity politics, anarchism, the whole kit and caboodle. I tried to terminate my pregnancy the entire 9 months

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