I can't offer any advice, just sympathy. I'm in the same boat. My mother was addicted to morphine and Valium for 10 years She finally had to get clean after an overdose and a heart attack last year, and she hasn't been the same since. She has been talking about how much she's looking forward to being a grandmother for my whole life, and she always talked about how she was going to make sure that my baby and me didn't want for anything. She's promised me very specific things: visiting me every couple of months, basically buying so much stuff that there's no point of a baby shower, setting up my nursery, and like your mom, coming to stay with me for a couple of weeks before/after the baby is born. Now we are down to her and my emotionally abusive father, from whom she knows I want to keep my kids away (and used to agree), driving here for a couple of days to see the baby. Not me, the baby. I only heard this because that's what she's telling all of her family members.

I feel like my mom died during her overdose last year and don't recognize this selfish, zombie woman. When I told her I was pregnant, I was expecting joy. Instead she just glossed over the news and started talking about her most recent elective surgery that she was going to do, despite being on Plavix and her cardiologist telling her it was a bad idea. She had complications that resulted in a brief ICU stay, which means she's only "had the energy" to contact me twice in the three weeks since she found out I was pregnant. We talked every day before her overdose last year. Every conversation we've had has been her talking about her health issues until she's too tired to talk about anything else and ends the conversation without even asking how I'm doing. I'm only 7 weeks, and I am dreading the next 33 weeks of interactions with my mother.

Moms can be disappointing. I guess all we can do is strive to be better than they are.