I honestly don't care about upvote or downvote, I just want responses. Considered cross posting to r/sex or a big sub like that, but I'm afraid the whole thing could be either buried or overcrowded with irrelevant answers from know-it-alls or memes.
Maybe. Dunno. Right now it feels like she's unwilling to even think about changing up our sex life, and I'm seeing a lot of other things we have been working on through the years that she is either unable or unwilling to change.
I was, as earlier stated, mostly asking these specific questions about sexuality here since it's a sub about being bisexual. The other stuff is definetly relevant, but I'm a bit of a mess right now and am waiting for her to come with some sort of answer about what she wants to do forward. She's at a friends house until tomorrow to get some distance. Don't know what the outcome will be, if she makes up her mind and either tries the sexologist or just flat out ends things so we can move on.
Either way, I spent the day with the kids and dog, went for a short mountain trip, took a few photos of the four of us (me, my two kids and the fourth being our furry friend) and felt legitimatley happy exept for a headache that crept in. We went to an indoor play park for kids, and I just ran and played with them for hours. Great workout!
I'm just rambling now. I want my kids to be happy, I want my wife to be happy as well even though we won't be married. I still love her, but I don't want to be intimate with her anymore because she is repulsed by my sexuality. She said it herself, though in kinder words. She really cares about my mental health, and I love her for that, among other things.
She has even thought about the aftermath, shared custody, how she wants me present as much as possible for the kids' sake, how it will be all right financially even though I need a new place to stay because she wants to keep living here (perfectly all right with me, it's basically her place since she's the one who initiated all the remodeling and designed the whole damned thing) and how she needs to buy me out, me keeping the car.. I am not going to be petty about a thing, and neither will she. I basically don't feel I need to take much out of the house when or if I leave since I'm no materialist at all. I just want my computer, the old TV, my playstation..
Jesus, this is hard to write. I just want to cry and hug my kids forever!