Did you guys go into your relationship, with him knowing you couldn't be monogamous?
No. I didn't even know. I had no idea there were even any other options until a few years ago. It's not like people talk about non-monogamy much. Especially to children/teens.
Did you guys go into your relationship, with him knowing you couldn't be monogamous, or did you ask him after the fact?
Again, it was after the fact.
Do you ever find yourself drifting or not having as strong a connection?
Sometimes. But I think it has less to do with my being poly than it does just all sorts of demands on our adult lives. And I've never not loved him.
Can I ask why you got a boyfriend, was it just sex or do you need more emotionally that your husband couldn't give you?
It was mostly about the sex. Subsequent to opening up, my husband realized he was asexual. Our sex life was never great so that explained a lot. obviously that makes this situation different from yours (but the other examples you cited are probably very different too). Meanwhile, I'm not really into casual sex, so being emotionally involved with my boyfriend was just a natural result of that.
I would not feel special to her. I could easily be replaced. She is my world, yet I find out I am not hers. I would die for her, yet I find out she doesn't feel the same.
I don't think you're being very fair to your wife on this one.
Do you have a deep connection with your husband and boyfriend?
Yes. My husband is my world and there's no one I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. My boyfriend is amazing and he have so much fun together.
If he decided to find an outside partner, would you be okay with it?
Of course.
Either way, its cool that some people can be monogamous in an open relationship, but I can't. I wouldn't respect myself, so then I'd find a girlfriend just out of spite against my wife, which wouldn't be fair to that girl. I would resent her. Hell, I already do resent her for putting me in this situation.
I agree that spite is not a good reason to date other people.