Hi OP I felt I had to reply as I have a very similar relationship with my mother. She had a bad childhood too with an emotionally abusive mother (my mother's sister died as a child and she was told by her mum that she wished my mum had died instead) and later suffered domestic abuse as an adult. I understand you telling us about the abuse your mother suffered to provide some reasoning behind her behaviour because i do this too. We want to love our mothers unconditionally. I believe my mum has some undiagnosed mental health issue but apart from this she also has arthritis and from being 10 I've looked after myself- washing,ironing,cooking etc.

2 years ago as I was struggling I made a terrible decision to move back home to try to save up and get out of debt.(I was 23 at the time)

I received emotional abuse every day and it caused me to have something of a breakdown.

Forgive me writing so much about myself but I felt a similar situation may help you look at your own situation.

You do not have to put up with emotional and more importantly physical abuse from your mother.

You should not feel guilty for leaving as I truly believe you need to for your own well being and long term mental health.

I would definitely suggest seeking counselling. Are you back in the UK? I went to my GP and self-referred myself. Funnily enough I told my doctor what my home life was like and she even told me to leave.

Are you working? Do you have a stable place to go to? Again if you're in the UK and you're struggling to find a place contact your local council and you can put your name down for a council house. If you have any questions feel free to message me.

I wish you the best of luck. Remember you are not to blame for your mother's actions.