tldr: just read the last paragraph

I just moved to a new state for college. Met a group of kids from the dorms and started hanging out with them. They were, to my understanding, my friends; They invite me to live with them next year. As it turns out, I was just the required eighth person to fill out the apartment, and when the new year came they entirely excommunicated me. As I sat alone in my room convincing myself that I was their friend. Eventually, the sight of them alone made me sick, so I couldn't socialize adequately with anyone else in the building. When your a stranger in a new state people aren't running over any hurdles to introduce themselves. About this time, the girl I was chatting with kicked me to the curb and in the fallout, I burned all the remaining bridges I had. It was only afterward on my new found island that I realized that the damage was irreparable. I spent the next year and a half alone. I see people say that there alone, normally to those closest to them who care dearly about them, but not like this. There were days were the only conversation I would have would be at the check-out counter, and there were even days that I would have food delivered rather than even have that exchange. There were days that I woke up, realized I had slept through my classes, and went back to bed. I even went so far as to stop bathing so people would stop interacting with me entirely. But the worst part of the week, was always talking to my parents. They always called on Sundays, and I would half to lie about all the events I was doing, how I was having so much fun with my friends, and all the cool parties that I went to, least be forced to sit through an hour of being yelled at for social ineptitude, or worse still disappointed sighs about how I’m wasting my life

Now, This coming from a guy who gave up on society and spends half is day asleep and the other half in a dazed in the fantasy because he wasn’t popular in high school and was somehow amazed when this phonathon didn’t do a 180 in higher education, so its probably not worth …. this is normally were i would say the paper its written on but something is lost when communicating via text documents

The most important thing is to A) actually physically and or emotionally confront your problems, and B) be honest. Corny conclusion, most definitely. And no I don’t mean, don’t lie, cheat, steal …. I mean the real kind of honesty. To often we as humans seek to give a number to something, to give it a grading, and then deny everything else about it. This is best seen in movie critics, and it's not a terrible parallel to how we emotionally grade things.

Take my example, I in them saw good people and friends and only that. Even when they left that fact remained an absolute, therefore it was not them who was to blame but myself, it was my fault. The surrounding experiences reinforced this idea, and therefore I took steps to solve the situation, I was not worthy of friends so I went without, and would prevent others from making the mistake of interacting with someone who wasn’t worthy of their time.

So naturally, when you come to your senses and realize it wasn't your fault, they were a bunch of jerks, you're all better right? NO, you’ve merely supplanted one falsehood with another and haven’t actually confronted the reality of the situation and guess what EVEN IF YOU can’t tell your mind can. I lived with them, I was for a period of time there friend, I had a bunch of cool experiences when them, I had my first college party with them, We used to walk across a frozen lake to go stargazing at night. They weren’t bad people.

You have to confront the honest reality of the WHOLE experience with your girlfriend, You can't mindlessly hate because she left, nor can you deny the fact you loved her. You have to accept and more importantly be happy with the experiences you had with her, You have to accept and more importantly understand that she's human he is not and never will be perfect, and what you see and the person that you're still in love with ….. isnt real, she's an amalgamation of all the positives that have been warped by your mind and memories, she’s a caricature of a human, one that you cared for, but not her …. shes just a picture of an idealized state in time that never existed , once you confront and be HONEST about the experience as a whole, the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the flawless, the tragically flawed, it's only then that you can throw it away, or better yet catalog it, place it in an album and look back on who you once were and how its changed you …. till you do that you're stuck with it, and once again even if you think you’ve confronted and or slayed your demons, your mind will always know the real truth,