”WAR...”

the audience creeps ever closer to the edge of their seats

”...IS...”

all in the room are silent. Breathing has stopped. Waiters in restaurants across the street stop in their tracks so as not to make a sound. Doctors in nearby hospitals rip their stethoscopes away from patients and hold them out their windows

”...BAD!”

those in attendance break out into immediate, unceasing applause. Like a fireworks factory lit aflame by a careless smoker, the bangs and claps of the crowd are heard throughout the county. Millions driving at the time of the incident begin to clap, losing control of their cars. Thousands die instantly. In maternity wards across the nation babies fall to the floor as parents and medical staff alike are consumed by the need to clap. The babies too are clapping. People’s hands slowly turn to nubs, but this does not stop them. The whole world claps at my bravery while Russia annexes Estonia.