I understand where you're coming from somewhat OP. At fear of sounding ungrateful and up myself, I know I'm decent looking, and even on a good day with the right angles I can even be considered good looking or even, gasp* stunning. (We INTJs are so hard on ourselves, it's that perpetual strive for perfection in life and in appearances *sigh.)
I'm young and female too, and men are afraid to approach me at bars or clubs. The ones who do, are jerks looking for a one night stand or drunk men looking to sleaze on me - that isn't a presumption on my part that all men are jerks, that has just been a fact of my life. I've actually had male friends and exs' tell me that I'm incredibly intimidating to approach - at part it's because I have a resting bitch face, and the other part is because I genuinely give off a 'don't come near me' vibe from my hatred of people and small talk #intjlyf. Yet, I'm still an INTJ female that is a hopeless romantic who, like you, wants to have someone date and cuddle and watch documentaries (mostly about terribly boring historical events.) Somehow, just somehow, I tricked a man into dating me too, and he makes my life complete. That's not to say I didn't kiss a lot of frogs before the prince, and I'll let you in on the secret to what I did.
Be yourself.
I know that's cliche. I know that INTJs on dates are the worst, we hate the small talk, my goodness, we could not care less what music you listened too, we don't really at all give a damn what your favourite TV is. At least, I don't. What engages me on a first date, is a deep conversation about the world. Maybe philosophical in nature, maybe religious debates, maybe a perception of life. I don't ask conventional questions like 'how was your day?' I could not care less how your day was. Instead I will ask things that have depth, 'If you could pick between travel destination A and travel destination B, why would you?' 'Why did you pick the degree that you did?' 'What's your favourite moment in history?' 'What historical figures do you relate to the most?' 'What is the most interesting paper you ever wrote?'
I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't start that straight away. I will ask how their day was (mostly not listening to their response), I will ask about boring, sweet, mundane stuff for at least 10-15 minutes. I will ask a lot of questions about them, because people like hearing their own voice and I will be light hearted and funny (I think I'm funny, at least my mum says I'm funny.) After that, I will steer it in that direction. After that, their reaction to your deeper questions will tell you all you need to know. Is this man introverted, quiet, outgoing, party lifestyle, etc? From there, you can gauge exactly what he kind of a man he is, and if he will meet your needs - that IMO, comes from experience in dating. Talking about the things that shouldn't be talked about, the things that are too heavy in the opinion of some, is highly efficient and wastes absolutely no time. If he wasn't a fan of your approach - guess what, he isn't the one for you anyway. No love lost. I've heard the comment either during the date or after the date that this is probably one of the most interesting they've gone on and it's nice to talk to someone with intelligence. So don't shy away from that OP, a brain is sexy. It's way better than cleavage to a guy who wants a serious relationship. On the flip side, some guys just didn't feel it, which is great because you waste no time.
The introverted ones IMO, don't mind talking to you. Introverted people have a habit for being shy, but I don't necessarily believe it's just being shy for the sake of it. I think introverted people really open up when they talk about something that interests them. My SO, is an INTP. You know what's crazy? On our first date, he asked ME what type I was. That was the first time, anyone had ever, ever asked me that. We had conversations about history, and this and that, but we also laughed and made jokes. It was, and still is, the best connection I've ever found, and I found it by not being anyone other than myself. I know that's not conventional, and I do agree you need to play some games (not looking desperate, not being too forward, not making life plans on your second date), but they should only complement who you are as a person and not be your complete and only arsenal.
As for how I found him? Tinder. I know that it gets a lot of bad rep, but through all your 200 odd terrible matches, you will come across someone who is like you, introverted, and just wanting to meet people. Don't bother swiping right to the fools who are topless/have their body out/have their tongue out/is always holding a beer/looks like they're 16. You will go on a lot of dud dates, that I can assure you, and you will question why the hell you're on it, but at least you learnt from it, and no exactly what you don't want now. That's more than you can say from being at home. In between all the rubbish, one guy will come along and make it all worth it. I met my ex that way, and he is one of the best people I know, and I do care deeply about him. More importantly, I met my SO on it, and I couldn't imagine my life without him, ever.
I do hope this is detailed enough to trick people with.