Yeah I get that, a lot of my (adult) family members are also homophobic. I live in the Netherlands so obviously being gay is completely acceptable here but I live in one of the more “multicultural” city’s (The Hague) and the average person in my city is still homophobic and probably uses the f-word regularly.
I used to be really homophobic too, till I realized that maybe sexuality might not be as set in stone as I thought it was since I watch femboy porn hahhah, it’s interesting how much more filled with hatred and homophobia I was (am) since I realized I might not be completely 100% straight, I think that’s also what the men OP is talking about are experiencing.
I am romantically and sexually attracted to woman but I also want to try it with a man once, I suppose am bicurious.