1st off its hard to see the reality when you are blinded by love. It was the same for me.

2nd - unfortunately she has many insecurities that she needs to work on herself. Because then she takes it to her relationships and needs to control where you lose all freedom. And generally when people are like that as well its because they have done shitty things like that too so they think their partner will do it( if that makes sense.

3rd - now you are walking on egg shells where you feel the need to lie or hide things. And I don't blame you, i also did the same thing at one point to avoid an argument because I would get my head ripped off over something so small that did not ever need to go to an argument. I personally hate lying, but when I was in a relationship like this I felt like I didn't have a choice. ( in reality I should have left though instead).

4th - my significant other also always blamed me for everything, it was always my fault, even though I knew it wasn't, but when I'd argue my point I'd be told to just shut the fuck up and that I wasn't logical to argue with. Although he had some good points to him, he also made the relationship a living hell. And when we broke up, which is what I highly suggest you do, I felt a breath of fresh air. Ya i miss him a bit, but also dont. With some time I realized a lot. And I also got gaslit a lot as well. You come to a breaking point honestly. And it seems like you're there. I know break ups suck but it's the best thing when you're in a relationship like that, this is called a cycle of abuse. Anyways, if you need more advice just DM.