We went to a bar and had a couple of beers and I told him if his SIL ever called me Kandice again I would call her by the name of his brother's mistress before the SIL married into the family but they were still dating.
Really? An innocent mistake sends you into vindictive, must-hurt-people land?
He said that he doesn't even have control over what his SIL says but that it was an honest mistake but his mom accidentally called me by her name a year ago and I've never had this happen before in any other relationship.
My mom accidentally calls my husband a name that sounds like his, but isn't his all the time. She's not doing it to be mean, she is just scatterbrained. Hell, half my life she called messed up my name with my sister's. People are humans. They make mistakes.
Doesn't mean you can get vindictive and nuts over it.
And by your own admission:
kind of similar to my own name
Your names are even similar.
I think he should be able to keep them in check but he said that if he brought it up regularly, it would be giving it more care than it deserves but i'm just fed up and over it.
Fucking what? WHAT? "Read their minds and telepathically communicate with them and if that doesn't work, make them lecture them for making innocent mistakes that they are already aware they made."
He doesn't need to "keep them in check" for making the most innocent of mistakes.
While we were playing pool at the bar, another man came up to me and whispered in my ear and called me beautiful. I don't know what came over me or why i didn't flat out deny his advances but my BF wasn't happy about the fact that I didn't shut it down even though we were clearly together.
Because you were still in vindictive mode because of being called the wrong name by accident and were still wanting to take it out on your boyfriend for no sane or logical reason?
As we're driving home, I tell him that he can just buy a plane ticket to the new City and stay with his brother because I didn't need him
Seriously, can someone give this man a medal? The amount of shit you put him through in just this post is insane.
I have a history of starting fights and pushing him away when I drink
And it never occurred to you to maybe stop drinking or get help for it? Here: stop drinking. If you can't, get help for it.
I chased after him and was asking him to re-think it but eventually I just got angry and physically attacked him
I feel so bad for this guy. You are not only demanding, controlling and mean to him, but you are also physically abusive.
"Please don't call the cops but please just note that i'm not touching her just in case they have already been called" as he held his hands above his head.
Jesus Christ. This man is seriously a saint. You need therapy.
At this point i was so embarrassed that I just left.
Excuse me? You were embarrassed? What about him? HE was the one being abused by you.
I texted him later that I just wanted to confirm that he needed to buy a plane ticket and that he wouldn't be allowed to drive with me
And you still had the balls to make demands of him after physically assaulting him. Therapy. You need it.
I don't know what to do
You get therapy.
I tried telling him that I was sorry and that the toxic environment at work (rude/condescending co-workers) and at home(my parents neglected me as a child and I'm always walking on eggshells) were the reason why we were always fighting and that the change of scenery will help us.
These are excuses to attempt to validate your behavior. You don't get to pass off the blame here. You assaulted him. You are to blame for that and only you.
How do i get him to understand that we deserve one more chance in a new environment to grow this relationship?
You don't deserve shit from him. You threatened his family, berated him, assaulted him, and wont take even the tiniest bit a personal responsibility.
You are the definition of a terrible person. Go to therapy, work on yourself, and leave him the hell alone. Forever.